The Bar

Starring: Michael Kopelow, Bradford Tatum, China Kantner & Renee Griffin

Director: James Melkonian

Writer(s): James Melkonian

Studio: Trimark Pictures

Rating: R

Official Bar Score: 

Determined to avoid another night of driving aimlessly around Torrance in the Blue Torpedo, Joe and Hubbs set out on a quest for fine chicks. Their paths soon cross with Tack, from whom they learn about a pair of foreign radical chicks hanging out near the Frankie Avalon place. Over Joe’s objections, Hubbs worms Tack out of the deal, and the pair take a slow ride toward their destiny.

I think the Stoned Age is funny as hell, the film itself brings back memories of my own high school daze when me and my buddy would sneak in girls houses when their parents weren’t home and piss in their ice trays. Those were the days. I thought the stoner, headbangers where on point in this film. Even though it was set in the 70’s I think every long-haired pot head would appreciate this film and it’s soundtrack. Stoned Age is a cool comedy about getting high and getting laid, that is it. Hubbs reminded me of me in my youth, and I really liked Joe’s character he made me laugh through out the whole film. A lot of the characters were cool like Tack the rude pizza faced kid, he said a lot of funny shit and Snotrag the nerdy “Dukes of Hazzard” fan.

Lanie was really hot in her purple, skimpy bikini they kept referring to her as the chick who looked like the chick from “The Virgin Killer” album. (I think that is a Blue Oyster Cult record, I’m not sure). She was the slutty party girl where as her friend was the more conservative less flashy chick. She showed off her bod a little bit, I think that was a pretty cool thing for her to do. I like how they had their own brand of beer in the film, Ox 45 tallboys that was awesome.

My favorite part of the film was when Hubbs busted Joe trying to worm his chick behind his back in the pool. Joe got hammered and started acting like a madman and throwing all the patio furniture into the pool. That shit was funny, anybody who has ever pulled a prank on their neighbors laughed out loud when that shit happened. Thats what I like the most about the film its simplicity, in a boring town a couple of misfits just cruise around in hopes of finding a party and even getting laid. Thats just the way it is when your a teen with nothing better to do. Other highlights of the film include, projectile vomit, drive by loogies, a narly eyeball, a shit load of funny one-liners, Officer Dean, and Franky Avalon. I like how they had their own brand of beer in the film, Ox 45 tallboys that was awesome.

I hope if you get a chance to watch them film you will enjoy it. I have a great time every time I see it. Sit back smoke a bowl and remember the times when all you had to do was party and have a good time, sometimes you get lucky and sometimes you don’t but at the end of the night you have one hell of a buzz. Thats what I’m talking about.

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