The Bar

Starring: Timothy Olyphant, Dougray Scott, Olga Kurylenko

Director: Xavier Gens

Writer(s): Skip Woods, Rasmus Guldberg-Kjaer

Studio: 20th Century Fox

Rating: R

Official Bar Score: 

“Hitman” is about a genetically enhanced assassin known simply as “47″ (Olyphant) who was raised by a company known simply as “The Organization” that supposedly controls the world’s sovereign governments. When a job to kill a Russian politician goes awry, a combination of pent up conscience and an attraction to a Russian prostitute sends him on the path of the straight and narrow, his world completely flipped upside down. So of course he has to kill everyone involved.

So for the most part this was garbage. To say that the plotline was “loose” would be an insult to loose plots throughout the history of cinema. I am vaguely familiar with the video games upon which it is based, having played “Hitman 2″ and from what I remember, the game was a loosely connected series of open ended assassination missions, and for that the loose plot works. But this isn’t a video game, and they could have tightened things up a bit and added some complexity to a story about political intrigue to at least make things halfway interesting. That was the major problem with the film. There was nothing to distract me from the fact that the action sequences were decent at best, and unbelievably corny at worst.

Actually I’m lying. There was one thing that distracted me from any glaring problems, and her name is Olga Kurylenko. This absolutely stunning Russian beauty is going to be a star, mark my words. She is the sole saving grace of “Hitman” because she makes every scene she is in infinitely more watchable, utilizing a combination of hotness (nudity included) and talent to steal the show. She is the only character in the film with anything clever to say. You really can’t get enough of her. If there was one thing I took away from “Hitman” it’s that I am going to be checking for anything she is in from this point on.

This is “hungover, watching TNT on the couch” fare and nothing more. The action is corny and the plot is almost non existant, leaving nothing but a shell of movie that has to be carried by new comer eye candy in order to have any redeeming qualities. Not recommended at all (unless you like hot naked Russian chicks, in which case go for it).

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